I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
