so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
