She said her name was "party"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
