Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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