How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
