There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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