I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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