Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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