no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I would fuck him just for his dog
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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