I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
