Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

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(949): View more from California

I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.

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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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(408): View more from California

hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

(925): View more from California

Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.

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(727): View more from Florida

I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.

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