i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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