In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
