you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
