apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
