Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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