well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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