We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize