Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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