I want to walk on stilts...naked
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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