I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
