Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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