even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
