dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
