I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
