I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
