I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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