3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
