New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
