i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
