Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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