bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she looked like the before picture.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
