i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
pop tarts are not kleenex
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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