Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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