Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
