I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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