I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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