Apparently you make a good broom.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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