dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
