Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
