Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
