In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
