Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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