IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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