he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
