Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize