so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
pop tarts are not kleenex
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
