wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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