I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
