So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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