I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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