That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Small penises have feelings too.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
