He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
