so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
