he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
