I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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