so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
