a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
